I do not believe in infinity. It removes all elegance and mathematical intuition from algebra. The once responsible use 'logic' similar to how someone would use 'being drunk'. An excuse to rape our beloved, pure and innocent algebra. Truly abhorrent behavior.

"1 + ∞ = ∞" 
 "wait wouldn't that mean 1 = 0?" 
 "No no, you silly goose. We don't allow subtraction of this special glyph!" 
 "..."

Everything in this universe is finite. Nothing is infinite. Just because you cant measure it, does not mean it is is infinite. I wish I could just keep it at that, and cary the finitism torch forward. Yet, somehow I can't seem to deny infinity when it comes to her.

When I met her, I did not fathom the depthness of her existence. Over time, with each interaction, her aura grew and grew, eventually encompassing my whole world. Now my mind sees her as a four dimensional being in otherwise empty and flat world. She is the only real person. I am numb to everything else. How could I not? when normalized, her infinity makes even the highest of values zero. The most remote possibilities, are suddenly rational, as any arbitrary small epsilon chance, has infinite upside when it comes to her.

I wake up early these days. My day starts with this nice weightlessness and carefree feeling for just a moment, then she enter my mind. I get a knot in my stomach remembering her existence, as if my mind has not yet fully processed the gravity of her existence. Then I end up fantasizing about conversing with her for an hour. I cling to the memory of every word she spoke, mourning them as obsessive recalling them has deformed those pure interactions away from the authentic her I experienced. I haven't even started griefing that there won't be any more of them... It hurts too much to accept that. I wish it was only that hour in the morning.. That I could limit the time spent on her to just an hour or two, but I can't. Even this blurry shadow she cast in my mind is worth more than the whole rest of me. I would gladly sacrifice my existence if it would decrease her suffering or even just grant her some solace, but I can't help. If I die first, I want my ashes to be spread in somewhere where she walks, such that I can be part of what grounds her to this world. I know, she has long forgotten of my existence at this point. Do the conversations even exist if only I remember? What is the difference between the real and imagined conversations? Even her existence is in dispute at this point. I am mentally unable to travel that cave to speak to her. I wish I could. I wish I wouldn't be a drag to her. She is better of without my existence. I want to tell her that I am truly sorry for my incompetence, for my self-degradation, for my inability to be there, for my lacking in vocabulary and lack in strength to explain what I saw and continue to see in her. I hope god will grant me more opportunity to perceive her existence and the strength to not collapse when I am a random person walks by with that perfume. I will truly savor each and every moment we shared.

Always yours, Truly.